My space Chimp (Second Draft)

This is my presentation of my Space Chimp story.  W.A.L.T write a narrative I like this story that I have written, I hope you like it to. It is probably one of my best stories  If you want to say something don't be scared to leave a comment! Hope you enjoy! This is a story that I have made from this video on this slide that I have made my story. The video will be there at the end of the show.

                   

My next step is: I am trying to use other punctuation like apostrophes,colons, semi colons, ellipses. (brackets) ':;...( )       

I Was Spent To Space (First Draft)

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when….

• The title is suitable for the text.

• The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
• The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
• The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
• Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.

The Happy To Sad Chimpanzee

3, 2, 1, blast off!!!!  1961 the rocket was going to launch, I was terrified that I was on my own. I felt alone because my owner was leaving me. I heard my owner Jake say “start the countdown”. My heart was pounding like I was goIng to die. When I heard the rocket  launch I felt like the first chimp going to space. When I heard Blast off I was moved back  like there was a earthquake

underground.

When I got to space the only thing I heard was “Jack are you there”

I said “oooh aaaaa”

Then I heard a song called Sweet Mother.

He said “good luck Ju” and that was the last thing I heard from him.  When he left me I was falling asleep.  I was dreaming that I didn’t have to go to space and that I was back home with Jake…. I wish I wasn’t used for a science experiment.  

 65 years later

I woke up and said “why am I here?” and what am I doing here?”  I said “I thought that I was with Jake at home” My memory was coming back and I remember why I’m here. I was a test if I was going to survive. But lucky I survived. When I woke up  I saw like 500 stars around me. There was a milky way, and I saw the earth. When I saw earth I smiled and reached out to it. Suddenly I was heading to earth. I closed my eyes tightly as I can and it got bumpy. I was falling like I was going to crash but then………                              

Terra Firma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally landed and I got out of the spaceship and I looked around to see if anyone was there.

I shouted Jake’s name and no one answered.

I was scared no one will come to help me.

Until I heard “ohhh aaaaa”.

When I heard that noise I was thinking it was Jake.

I ran to the noise because I thought it was Jake.

When I got there everyone was staring at me.

I thought that was Jake but it was 1000 chimpanzees staring at me.  

The leader said to me “Where do you come from?”. I said “I came from space” I said “Who are you?”  

He said “I ask the question around here.”

I asked him 1 more question I said “ Where are the humans that lived here?”

He said to  his slaves “grab him and take him to the dungeon”

I ran as fast as I can.

Thwacke

I gasped, the earth meet me on front.  A sharp pain burned in my back and I felt the sense of falling in and out of consciousness.

Darkness was coming.  But this time for eternity.   

My eyes caught a glimpse of something that seemed to take my pain away.  It was my photo.  But it was out of reach.  I used all of what I had left to reach it, and clutch it in my hands.

I unscrewed the faded photo……..   A slow smile grew on my face.  

“Sorry Ju!  Sorry!”

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