(First Draft)

On the first week of school holidays my family and cousins drove to Omuru to see our dad’s side of our family.

While we drove there I put down my window and I saw some cows, horses, and some more cows. When we were going past them we had to put the window back up in our car because it stink like poo. After that I left the window up just in case.

When we felt hungry we stopped at the park to eat. The things that we ate were KFC, fruit, doritos, and some drinks. When I finished eating the stuff I had they were still eating. I went to my dad and asked “since you guys are still eating can I go and play on the playground?” He said  “yes but come back when I call you to come ok” So I ran and went on the flying fox. While I was going down the flying fox I was shouting “can someone come and play tag with me?” They all came and played but when they got there mum called out and said ”Come now we are going now” They said to me “ you called us at the wrong time” So we got in the van and started to drive again.

After that we continued our driving to Omuru. While we were driving we sang some songs like One dance, Flash light, and Cool down. After we sang the songs we all were thinking about watching a movie. The movie we picked was called Joyful Noise part 1 and 2.  So when we finished our movies we watched we arrived there on Saturday night.

When we got there on Saturday night I ran out to see my family that I haven’t seen like for 10 years.  We stayed at their home for the whole 2 weeks of school holidays. Finally when we were at their house we went to sleep because my family and cousins where tired from the trip.

I had a lot of fun with my family when we were going to Omuru. Next time I go there I would go to the pools and go to the movies.

W.A.L.T make improvements to my writing and present it to an audience.

My Worst Day Ever

My presentation of Lions,Buffalos and Crocodiles

It was the best afternoon ever in July the 13th. My herd and I were walking to the amazing lake called Savannah lake in Africa. We went to the lake to drink water before the next walk. I was playing with my two best friends called Jim and Max, and they were taller and older than me. Until Dad came and told me to stay with him incase something would happen.  Luckily my dad told me to stay with him because I was about to meet my worst enemies.

I was thinking about the day that I would hear and meet my worst enemy.  But then my dad saw a herd of lions and we ran away. When the lions saw us run away they started to chase my herd away. I was so frightened that I would die. The herd of lions bit and pushed me into the lake. I got bit in the lake until two crocodiles came to me and grabbed two of my legs. The three lions that pushed me into the lake grabbed my two feet at the front. They used me as a long rope playing buffalo war.

They were fighting like they were going to rip me into shreds. When the lions won me they dragged me out of the smelly lake they were smelling me. I was thinking that was really weird. I was thinking that I should run away but I didn’t because I thought that they would kill me if I try to run away. Then my herd came back for me. One lion just laid down and two of them jumped up and ran away to where they were first. The lion that just stayed almost got hit by my dad. But he is so lucky that he moved before my dad tried to get him. But when the lion moved he ran away to try to survive. My dad  ran to get the lion but the lion was lucky that he ran to his side.

But finally I feel safe around my herd. I am lucky to have a family like this.

By Siola

My Worst Day Ever (First Draft)

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when my recount has a

• Title
• Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
• Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
• Personal Comment:  How did the events make you feel?

First Draft

My Worst Day Ever

It was the best afternoon ever on July the 12th. My herd was walking to the amazing lake called Savanna Lake in Africa.  We went to the lake to drink water before the next walk.  I was playing with my two best friends called Jim and Max until Dad came and told me to stay with him.  When I went with my dad my friend's dad told their sons to stay with me too.  I was so glad that their dad  told them to stay with me. Luckily my dad told me to stay with him because I was about to meet my worst enemies. I was thinking about the day that I would hear and meet my worst enemy.  But then my dad saw a pride of lions so we ran away. When the lions saw us run away they started to chase our herd away. I was so frightened that I would die. The lions bit me and pushed me into the lake. I got my leg bitten in the lake until two crocodiles came to me and grabbed one of my legs. The three lions that pushed me into the lake grabbed my two feet at the front. They used me as a long rope playing buffalo war. When the lions got me  one held me and the two others smelled me. I was thinking that was really weird. Then my herd came back for me. One  lion just laid down and two of them ran away to there pride. The lion that just stayed almost got hit from my dad. But he is so lucky that he moved before my dad tried to get him. But when the lion moved he ran away to try and survive. My dad just ran to get it but the lion was just too fast for him.  So my dad just stopped. I felt terrified. But now I feel safe near my herd.

Finally I feel safe around my herd. I am lucky to have a family like this.  

Siola's Battle at Kruger Sequence

	The herd of buffalos have appeared in the lions home near the lake.
	The frightening lions are resting in the brown grass.
	Oh no the furious lions see the scrumptious buffalos so they start to chase them.
	The big buffalos start to run away because the lions are chasing them,  but instead of going for the big buffaloes the lions went for the baby calf.
	The lions are fighting with a crocodile for its food,  the lions are so annoyed because the lions got the delicious buffaloes.
	The lions are fighting with a crocodile for its food,  the lions are so annoyed because the lions got the delicious buffaloes.
	The buffalos come to save their baby calf because they know their baby calf was missing from their family.
	They start charging with the lions for their baby.
	The baby calf is struggling to come out.